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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

DJDan podcast 7-5 transcript....

Thanks to noblelawyer for pointing out the transcript that JB did!!  THANKS JB~!

Voice over: Coming to you live from Stonehenge

Singers: DJ Dan!

Voice over: You’re listening to DJ Dan, shutting down the man

DJ Dan: Yep, we’re coming to you live. I’m shutting down the man, that’s the plan so you don’t know the what hit the fan. So much for my hip hop career.

Tanya: Come on, Dan, you’re old school.

DJ Dan: Yep, hang a grandfather clock around my neck that’s how old school I am. Speaking of, I call myself a DJ but how often do you ever hear me play music? Yeah, jump on that, Conspiraspies. *laughs* We’re having a good time today ladies and GMOs (?) we’re in our blue track suits. We have our name brand white sneakers. That’s right we’re celebrating the anniversary of Heaven’s Gate!

Cheering in the background

DJ Dan: Cults, people, we’re talking about cults. Tanya, you got a favorite?

Tanya: Uh, what about those guys with the red scarves you know, who just said they cloned their leader?

DJ Dan: Good one, but you know, you know I mean I have a soft spot for the Heaven’s Gaters, you know the sheer ambition just gets me, okay. They killed themselves to hitch a ride on a comet. It’s kind of poetic. So my sweet conspiraspies, are you in a cult? Were you in a cult? Are you about to drink the Kool-Aid? Are you making the Kool-Aid? Call us first, tell us all about it. Let’s take Mike from Texas. Suwee! Mike! Got a shotgun under the seat?

Mike: You betcha, DJ Dan.

DJ Dan: Don’t mess with Mikey. Mikey, what is your cult connection?

Mike: Well I’m listening to the Cult.

DJ Dan: That’s a band you dink. People, do I have to explain? No self-respecting cult calls itself a cult! The Cult itself is not a cult and even if it spawned a cult it certainly would not be a cult. SHUTDOWN! Bo (?) from Minnesota. Hear you spotted a cult in your home town.

Bo: Yes, sir. My nephew joined these bald chanting guys, you know dancing, handing out flowers in the street.

DJ Dan: Chanting guys! Chanting guys! They’re not a cult! Everybody knows they’re a front for extra terrestrials! SHUTDOWN! Come on people, give me something real. Anthony from Petosky (?), Michigan. That in the thumb, Anthony?

Anthony: Um, more in the pinky finger? Anyways, DJ Dan, I think my grandma was in a cult.

DJ Dan: Grandma’s don’t join cults. SHUTDOWN! Just kidding. Continue, I’m captivated.

Anthony: Um, well she was getting her doctorate in, I think, Psych at the University of Michigan in the 60’s. And she joined this group, I guess, called the Karma Imperative or something.

DJ Dan: The Karma Imperative? Okay, now that sounds like a cult.

Anthony: Yeah! And um well, she told my mom about how she was going with uh the Karma Imperative to some place in the South Pacific.

DJ Dan: Uh, island, continent, cruise ship? What are we talking about here? Come on give me something.

Anthony: Um, she just said it was, I think, the Flame or the Fire?

DJ Dan: Moving on, moving on

Anthony: Well, they never heard from her after that! It was like, early 70s when she went. Nobody at the University heard about the Karma Imperative. And well, they had like a funeral for her and everything!

DJ Dan: Well, that is a tragedy. A human, real life tragedy. It makes me sick, Anthony. Sick! These repugnant, selfish, clannish, crony-ish, mystical, brain washing pieces of dung that take away our loved ones. Conspiraspies, you heard it. Anthony from Petosky has lost his grandmother to the Karma Imperative. You know what to do. You know who you are. I need some dirt on Karma so we can find Anthony’s granny and SHUTDOWN the man! Back after these messages.

Voice over: You’re listening to DJ Dan, shutting down the man.

 

2 Comments:

Blogger Conrad said...

obviously this is bullshit. This guy is all lies.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Conrad said...

Obviously this guy is a load of crap. He just watched Lost and stole the idea that his Grandmother disappeared in the south pacific and went with some group called the Karma Imperative because he knows if he called it The Dharma Initiative like in the show Lost, it would be too unbelievable. Don't believe this crap.

12:02 PM  

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